During university, I went away with my brother and 15 of his friends who had all just graduated with their degrees. Some of them I didn’t know well, and others I did.
I’m normally the one who’s up for a laugh and a joke, which is what this particular week was all about.
However, it was the 2nd or 3rd day into the trip when I
My jokes were falling flat!
Many people would let this go and enjoy the weekend, which I did, for about 5 minutes. The rest of the time all I could think about was my next joke, what to say, how to make them laugh. For some unknown reason, it meant so much to me!
It was making me needy and desperate, which of course came across in a creepy way. Ever been there?
It made me feel like an outcast, not likable and less approved by the group.
Why is this?
It turns out we all have different personas we adopt as a way to be liked or accepted by society.
As children, we build these personas as a way to receive the very thing that matters most to us: Love and attention.
However, we all have different strategies of how to achieve this. Mine was becoming the joker, but for others may be the sad loner, the pleaser, the athlete, the problem solver, the rebel, any
One of the biggest personas that are developed by entrepreneurs and business owners is the achiever!
Most of you learned very early on that in order to receive that love and attention you crave as a child, you had to achieve and do it well!
These patterns are formed as part of our identity as we become adults and we still feel this need that we just ‘have to’ achieve.
Just like me trying my hardest to make people laugh, those who are desperate to achieve are often overcome with stress, overwhelm and worry. This makes the journey just that more difficult.
Trust me, I feel it at times too, but let’s just
However, just because this particular pattern has worked, doesn’t mean it’s who you are.
Showing who we truly are is extremely scary because if people don’t accept THAT side of us, then we are socially screwed.
But there’s one topic that keeps occurring in all my coaching and personal development courses, and that is how to be more vulnerable.
Why is being vulnerable a superpower?
It’s putting down these barriers and personas of who we ‘need’ to be, so we can just be our true selves.
If you can be your best genuine self, regardless of what other people think, you will feel an alignment with yourself.
What I learned from Tony Robbins is that ‘All pain comes from not being who you really are’.
As a guy, I find it hard to be vulnerable sometimes.
It’s been hard to show my feelings, admit when I’m wrong, and reach out for help. I was taught by society to never show pain, man up, don’t be a pussy, and feelings are for girls.
It was unknown to me that guys feel just as much as women, we just show it differently.
The real me watches a video of someone breaking through their limited beliefs and I cry. When I feel grateful for my life, health, and family, I cry. When I see someone out in public do a kind gesture it really touches me.
However, I can also be as driven, passionate and determined as anyone!
That’s the real me.
As business owners, we feel like we have these pressures to succeed, have a wealthy lifestyle, and make a massive impact before we give ourselves the approval to be ‘liked’.
However, what if you were to just be the genuine ‘you’ throughout the whole journey?
That may mean you need to be more disciplined, more chill, more passionate, riskier, more playful or even creative. Whatever it is that you feel is your natural self when you don’t have any expectations.
No one else has to know when you are being your genuine self, but you will feel it.
I think if we start being more of our genuine selves instead of who we ‘need’ to be, we would be focused a lot more on love, growth, and contribution. These are the 3 core components that will bring more fulfillment into your life.
Feeling like you need to ‘be’ someone is setting yourself up for a life of stress and scarcity.
Why?
The expectations will continue to adapt, giving you more to strive for. In summary, you will never feel enough while the answer you are seeking is outside of you.
However, if you are congruent with who you truly are and who you genuinely want to become, decisions become so much easier. You know what you need to do, how you need to be and you will feel it at the end of the day when you put your head on the pillow.
So what values do you want to live by, no matter what happens?
What do you want to keep the same about you?
Who do you want to become?
How can you strengthen the best parts of you?
How can you build more of your love, honesty, strength, passion, aliveness, curiosity?
If you didn’t have any expectations from everyone, what would feel most like you?
In your business your best chance of success is to be you, that’s the only way you can maintain your long-term energy. If stress, overwhelm and worry play a significant role in your life, it may be time to melt away your exterior personas and let your true
Enjoy exploring your best self!
If you haven’t already, feel free to opt
If you want discipline and focus as weapons on your toolbelt, click the button below for instant access!