Why was I so upset and stuck, and confused after university?

I had no idea what I wanted to do for a career, but why the hell did it bother me so much?

That sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach wouldn’t go away, and it kept getting heavier as I saw how uncertain my future was. 

I continued to think that the stars weren’t aligning and that things should be different.

Ever felt the same? Ever had these thoughts?

What I’m going to share with you in this blog is the unconscious reason why you are happy or unhappy with any area of your life right now.

As you read, you are going to relate this to your life and you will have some insights that will help you gain not only awareness but key tools so you can start feeling better and taking positive action to move forward.

Firstly, what’s an area of your life that you are really happy with? This may be your health, fitness, relationships, education, career, finances, what is it? Keep a mental note of this.

Now, what’s an area you are not happy with? Maybe your finances aren’t in line, or you have some stomach fat that’s unwanted, or even the connection with your partner is starting to diminish. Keep a mental note of this area also.

What makes you happy with one and not the other?

You may think the answer seems obvious, but most often the simple insight can be the most powerful!

It’s all to do with your internal mental blueprint.

Your mental blueprint is like the roadmap of your expectations. This is the unconscious measuring stick of what you think needs to happen in order for you to feel happy.

Check in again with the area that makes you happy. Why is this? It is because your current life circumstances match your blueprint of how you think it should be! If it exceeds your blueprint then you are ecstatic!

The same concept can be applied to what you are not happy about. You are not happy with this area because it does NOT match your blueprint.

Now how do you use this knowledge to increase the quality of your life?

Well, let’s have a look at what do people do when they aren’t meeting their blueprint…

If you are like most people, you tend to blame. This is often blaming things outside your control. You blame other people, the economy, the country leaders, your circumstances or even blame yourself.

The more you blame, for whatever reason, the less control you have over the quality of your life.

When you blame you feel better in the short term, but what you have failed to do is solve the very thing inside YOU making you unhappy.

However, if you are reading this right now, at some level you value improving the quality of your life, and here’s how.

Putting your focus on these next 2 options will drastically shift the way you think and feel about your life.

1) Change your life conditions.

Makes sense right?

Stretch yourself and make more money, gain more clients, lose some weight, automate your marketing, delegate jobs you hate, move to better living conditions.

Make your life conditions equal or exceed your blueprint of what your life should be like.

However, it is true that sometimes circumstances are impossible to change. You don’t have control over all the factors around you. You can’t control other peoples behaviour, or the weather, or the economy or even the accidents that happen on a daily basis. What do you do if you can’t change your life conditions?

2) Change your blueprint.

Recognise that there are fundamental needs that you are looking to meet by having this particular blueprint in place. What is it for you? Love, connection, adventure, security, contribution, growth?

I can tell you now, all pain comes from the belief that there are limited ways to meet these needs that matter most to you. This is the illusion of a blueprint, and this is why I was so upset after my university education.

My blueprint told me the only way to feel successful is to find a job you loved and pursue that career with everything you’ve got! Clearly, this is an illusion.

Freedom comes from the understanding that there are limitless ways of meeting your fundamental needs.

I can feel important, successful and proud by going on a run, starting a business, helping someone, being there for a friend, or maybe just looking back on where I have come from.

What is your overall life blueprint?

Where did you pick up your blueprint? (Parents, school, media)

Is this limited view of reality causing you pain?

What are some ways you can shift your life conditions?

What are some ways you can shift your blueprint?

What are some other ways you can meet your fundamental needs?

From what I have found, mastering your life normally requires shifting a little bit of both.

Finding skillful ways to change your life’s conditions and also the blueprint in your head is the key!

You have probably already found out that in order for you to not only achieve happiness but long-term fulfilment, it takes a little more than just changing your life conditions and the way you see the world.

It takes consistent growth and never-ending improvement! Always be looking for ways to make progress in your life, even in little steps, and you will find overall joy in your direction.

If you haven’t already, feel free to jump in my free 5 part email series.

Inside I’ll walk you through the steps for building the correct psychology to sell your services online as a consultant. If you don’t like your current results the answer will be in your thinking.

Click below to jump right in!